My bopper is my best fren. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my bopper is useless. Without my bopper, I am useless. I must bop my bopper true. I must bop straighter than my nonfren who is trying to bop me. I must bop him before he bops me. I will...

I will keep my bopper clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before Apu, I swear this creed. My bopper and myself are the defenders of r/frenworld. We are the masters of nonfrens. We are the saviors of our frens. So be it, until there are no nonfrens, but only true frens.

Amen.👌🏻🐸